Big Blue Comforter
by WickedWitchoftheSE
Summary: Jack reflects on his life with Ianto. Janto angst of course. Let me know if you think I should continue!
1. Jordan's birth

He laid in bed while he watched

A/N: Wow this ended up a lot sadder than I thought it would. For inspiration I used these old videos of me and my little brother (and yes I used our real names, I tried finding some nice Welsh names but I ended up just keeping ours, it cut down on the confusion for me.) I really meant for this to be kind of retrospective and happy so I'm sorry about all the angst. Poor Jackie boy.

Disclaimer: If I owned this my husband would be sleeping on the couch while I kept Jack and Ianto chained to our bed.

He lay in bed while he watched. The covers pulled around him, the old blue comforter that he only got out once every year. Anymore and the threads would begin to unravel and Jack didn't know what he was going to do when he lost that last bit of comfort. Ianto's soothing smell had long faded from their favorite comforter.

On the small screen was an Easter of long before. Jack was filming and Ianto was stumbling around the table in the living room trying to help unwrap all sorts of Easter chocolates. He was sure Leigh and Jordan had been up since early that morning with the promise of candy. Leigh was wearing the white dress she had worn as a bridesmaid in Mickey and Jessica's wedding earlier that year. Jordan was still dressed in his pajamas and demanding that his tad opened his chocolate bunny.

Ianto was as good of a father as he had been Torchwood employee. He treated Leigh and Jordan with the same gentle affection he had treated the Torchwood three team. He cleaned up after them and spoke in patient kind voices. While Jack was loud and overly affectionate, teaching his daughter Broadway songs to sing on long car rides and coaching Jordan's t-ball teams, Ianto had been quieter, reading to his daughter her favorite history books and easily going over Jordan's math homework with him. It wasn't unusual for Jack to fall through the door after midnight, still smelling for chasing down some god-awful alien to find Ianto and their kids curled up in their massive bed the blue comforter tucked up them, the kid's favorite story books lying all around the bed.

Back on the small screen Ianto picked up the chocolate bunny but at the same time pointed out the wrapped book next to the Easter basket. Jordan's attention quickly shifted to that and Ianto snatched up both of the children's chocolate before either noticed it was gone or could beg Jack for a chocolate breakfast.

The next video Jack slid in was the day Jordan was born. The tiny baby had Jack's finger in his hand while Ianto taped. The teenaged girl who had been so glad to find parents for her "accident" was asleep in the next room over.

"He's got a lot of hair, don't you think?" Jack asked with a smile. Ianto agreed but was cut off by Jordan's loud cry of protest.

"I know buddy, it's hard work being born," Jack said bouncing the newborn.

"We better save up soon of the juice on this camera Jack, big sister Leigh will be here in a few hours," Ianto said just before the scene cut.

The next scene cut back in with Jack feeding Jordan out of a tiny bottle. Leigh sat on her Auntie Gwen's lap with a colorful little robe over her outfit. Gwen had taken her shopping earlier that day while Jack and Ianto were at the hospital waiting for their new son. She had come in so proud of her little blue sweatshirt and skirt with the big bows on them.

Next Jack was filming Leigh holding Jordan in her arms with Ianto kneeling down by them both, his hand supporting Jordan's head.

"Are we making you nervous sweetheart?" Ianto asked quietly.

"No," she whispered back. After a picture was taken Jordan was handed over to Ianto's grandmother "Boogie." The old lady cradled the fourth generation of her family with a small smile on her face. It was the last video or picture they had gotten of the tough, old lady.

"After Boogie can I hold him again?" Leigh piped up loudly.

"Let's try getting a few more pictures first, huh Leigh?" Ianto asked with the smile kept only for his little girl.

They ended up compromising; Ianto sat in the plastic chair with Leigh to his side tucked under his arm and Jordan across their laps together.

Even with Leigh squirming and Gwen commenting about how tall Jordan would be and Jack muttering about feeding times the picture was so beautiful that the Jack of right now had to stop the video and lower his head. The covers came around and were used to dry his tears as he cried for a day that he couldn't even remember.


	2. Leigh's cries

Gwen really didn't feel comfortable with this

Disclaimer: I guess technically I own myself but the rest belongs to a bunch of men in suits.

A/N: This comes from spending the day with my two friends and their two month old. This is pretty much how the whole day went, but it seemed to go on forever…and yes I was at one point in love with the father of the couple so I can relate with Gwen. Not something I really want to admit too.

Gwen really didn't feel comfortable with this. She had sat with Ianto while Jack had been running in and out of the house, first to go check out a weevil alert then again when there was a rift spike in the middle of the shopping district. Both times he seemed to just fly out the door with a careless "I'll take care of it," over his shoulder. Even though he was smiling at her Gwen could tell that Ianto was getting angrier and angrier. And Leigh wasn't helping matters either crying or demanding to be fed.

"She acted like this yesterday too," Ianto explained in a tired voice as he rocked her. Gwen sat across the living room on the couch with her hands in her lap. She hadn't moved since Ianto and Jack had been bitching back and forth at each other about if Ianto's car needed to go into the shop or not. It was hard to watch a man you once loved and his partner argue over such petty things while their child kept crying.

"I think she's just confused," Ianto continued, "because we were at my mam's all weekend and then yesterday with us over at Martha's because the power was out. Her schedule is all thrown off. She's been eating every two hours when she really shouldn't be."

Gwen just smiled and agreed while relaxing back into the couch. At least Ianto wasn't going to be snarky with her. She thought she really couldn't blame Jack for running out of the house every chance he got.

Ianto and Gwen had decided on food from a local restaurant and sent Jack to pick it up on his way back from the rift spike. Leigh had stopped crying for a moment while Gwen had decided to walk her around the house. Ianto was on their computer in the bedroom dealing with emails and other pieces of work that he could get done while not holding a crying baby for the first time in two days.

Gwen winced when she saw Jack's car pull into the driveway. She really didn't want to be around when he had to explain why he hung up on Ianto while he was picking up the food. Even though the walls of the men's house were thick- "I need them to be with the way he screams" Jack had commented with a smirk- Gwen could hear Ianto yelling at him from the living room. At that point she had given up trying to figure out why they were so angry at each other.

"She calm down any?" Jack asked as soon as he opened the door.

"She's still pretty fussy," Gwen replied with a smile. Jack sat the food down on the counter and walked up to Gwen, leaning down and kissing Leigh on the forehead.

"Why are you giving Daddy and Tad so much trouble?" he whispered to her before taking her out of Gwen's arms.

"I'm going to go lay her down in her crib; the doctor said we could let her cry for up to an hour," Jack explained, "why don't you start putting the food on plates?"

Gwen dumped all three meals out onto the plates including Ianto's two hamburgers and colossal amounts of French fries. Jack must've been distracted if he let Ianto order all of that for himself.

When Jack had brought Ianto back into the living room they had sat down with their food and the baby monitor listening to Leigh's cries. Not really sure what to do, Gwen kept questioning what they had done at Ianto's mams and pushing her food into her mouth. Jack and Ianto snapped at one another a few times and generally just sat there listening to Leigh.

"I just wish she'd shut up for just one god damn minute," Ianto kept muttering. Jack looked at him but didn't say anything else. Gwen was beginning to agree with Ianto, she had been here for four hours and the baby had not stopped crying.

"I'll go get her," Jack said once he finished his food. He left Gwen there digging into her key lime pie and Ianto tackling his second burger. It only took a few minutes for Jack to fetch Leigh and keep walking her around the living room. The cries that they could hear all over the house finally settled into whimpers and then into nothing as Leigh was content to be carried in her father's arms.

Gwen had been staring at the two and turned to Ianto to comment about it when she saw that tears were trailing down the young man's face. Jack noticed it at the same time and stopped walking for a moment.

"Cariad, come here," he whispered. Leigh began whimpering again when Jack stopped walking but calmed down when he started rocking back and forth.

"She just loves you more than me, that's all," Ianto said as he walked over. Jack put out the arm that wasn't holding the two month old and wrapped it around Ianto.

"That's not true you know that," Jack said rocking the three of them together, "she's just tired and doesn't know how to go to sleep."

"Well I tried to get her to fall asleep all morning and afternoon and she wouldn't stop crying," Ianto agued while the tears kept streaming down his face, "I started to understand why people drown their children and then I felt guilty for thinking that. I want to love her but she's just always there and I'm always watching her, and Jack I just don't know what to do anymore."

Jack seemed to think for a minute before answering. Gwen knew she shouldn't be watching this but they were standing between her and any sort of exit. Beyond that she couldn't look away from this little story between the two people she loved so much but for so different reasons.

"I think I need to be here more," Jack finally said, "I've been running out haven't I?"

"Well you're needed to help run-"

"No, I'm not," Jack argued right back, "I mean, there are things I need to be dealing with but I can delegate better. And I've been thinking too. We've been stretched pretty thin the past two months with you staying here with Leigh. We should get a few more members of the team."

"What, like replacements?" Gwen barely heard what Ianto was saying, his face being muffled into Jack's shoulder.

"No, not a replacement," Jack answered with a smile, "Just a bit more help so both of us can stay here more and look after Leigh together. It's just been too much for both of us. See, this is why in the future often three or four people will be parents to a baby. It's too much work!"

Ianto laughed a little and leaned up to kiss Jack. While still holding Leigh, Jack wrapped his arm around Ianto pulling him in, trying desperately to show him how much he still loved him. It was at this point that Gwen looked away, trying to be much more interested in her now warm desert.


End file.
